hollysliferevealed

Long week!

hollythumper — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 22:24:12 +0000

Yesterday was by far the longest day at the railroad this year. We had a total of 4 trains. The first 2 were our normal trains… We go to Blue heron then back up to the depot. The 3rd train was the tot train where really young children got to dress up and trick or treat the local businesses while getting a train ride that was not so scary…. The 4th trains yesterday was the halloween train and it went down after dark… October makes for a long and busy month for us…. There is only one more long week and then we get a kind of welcomed break…. If I make it one more week…. Im beat!

What’s going on in my world….

hollythumper — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 18:42:26 +0000

I’m bored today and for lack of something else to do, i decided to write a blog…. And, since I’m bored… I really have nothing to write about. Im going to put my music on shuffle and write a little about each song that pops up for a few minutes….. If you know me, then you know that my life revolves around music. I can’t drive without it, I can’t think without it, I feel like sometimes that I can’t breathe without it. Most of my music reminds me of someone of a situation. And I listen to a little bit of everything….

First song is She Took It Like A Man by Confederate Railroad- If you know me, then you know that I am a lot like the woman in this song in the same situation…. I tend to throw a temper tantrum if something is not going my way… I have a pretty bad temper too and I have been known to throw a few telephones in my days….

Hurt me- leann rimes- this song reminds me of so many of my past relationships that i rarely listen to it…. it brings back a lot of emotions that i try to hide and at the very least surpress cause im not one to become overly emotional…

My Town- Montgomery Gentry- This song reminds me of my small town…. I have family and friends just about any where that I look around here and theres always memories in these places. I just think about one day ill be sharing these stories with my children…

Dreamlover- Mariah Carey- This song has always represented what I want in a guy. I just like the idea of being swept away by this perfect lover…. In all honesty though I don’t believe that anyone is perfect… This is essentially just a dream…..

My Name Is- Eminem- ok… This song takes me back to 8th grade, that’s how old I was when this came out…. If mom would have known that I listened to it then, I would have probably gotten grounded…. I like Eminem, He just has a way with words… He can paint a funny, yet very shockingly truthful picture very easily. I like his in your face delivery…. I like the way that he dont sugar coat it, he just tells it how it is and dont worries about upsetting people.

Amazed- Lonestar- This song is absolutely beautiful. I thought about making it kevin and my wedding song but later decided on Lost in this moment by big and rich…. Just an example of my changing moods… Still this song is a beautiful song.

The Gift- Seether- First of all, this band is awesome! Just saying… they are one of my favorites…I highly recommend them.. This song was written my Shaun Morgan Welgomoed when he was in rehab for alcoholism. The guy that told him the story was with him… Apparently it was about a drunk driving death and the guys feelings of guilt over it and the “gift” spoken of, the way that I understand it is forgiveness…. Perhaps there is more to it than that, but thats my feelings about it…. This song is very well written and one of my favorites by Seether, but they have so many great songs….

Ok boredom has been relieved for a little while. Let me know what you think of these songs and share your favorites… I’m always looking for new music to sample.

Tattoos Rule!!!!!

hollythumper — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 05:09:19 +0000

I’m going to be venting in this blog, so if you don’t want a holly venting session you can skip this. If you do… read on. I’d like to hear everybody’s opinions on this.
I go t home from class, go to log in to my email like I do every day when I get home.I log on to yahoo and there are always headlines from news articles there on the main page. I usually just glance at them and go on, but one about rockers and tattoos caught my attention, so I clicked on it to read what was said I was instantly pissed off. They were dissing rockers that have tattoos and calling them idiots and anybody that gets tattoos idiots.If you know me at all, you know that I have 2 tattoos that I love. Anywho….. I love tattoos. They are a way to express who you are. They are a statement, they are a way to express your individuality. I’m not saying that everyone should go out and get inked, but I am saying that I have and I have absolutely nothing against tattoos or anybody who has them.
I have many friends that have at least 1 tattoo. They are deffinately not idiots. Granted Imay have not always made the best chioces in my life and most of my friends will probably say the same thing, I am no idiot. I graduated from college with my bachelor’s degree in general studies with a focus on social work and psychology, this should tell you all that i’m a free thinker and actually have some level of intelligence. I’m not by any means an idiot.
Tattoos are not stupid and I was not drunk when I got either of my tattoos. I had drank 1 beer before my first one and that was to help with my fear of needles. If you know me, then you know what that is all about. I had wanted to get Thumper tattooed on me since I was about 16 years old. I was 24 when I finally did it. It was not a spur of the moment decision. and I did not just sit down and do it. I read up on tattoos, I read up on how to find a good tattoo artist. I also contacted the main artist at the place that I had the tattoo done at and she answered all of my questions. So, I did my homework so to speak. I also had gotten my belly button ring done at the same place, so I knew it was clean and I knew it was reputable. My other tattoo was done by my ex boyfriend that was a tattoo artist himself. I saw the needles that he used come straight out of packages that came to him straight from the manufacturer. He had cleaned the tattoo gun and he had sterilized everything. With my fear of needles I am overly cautious about all of that. Thinking back on my situation and all, I might have picked a better person to do the tattoo, but it would have eventually ended up on me, so no I don’t regret it.
The article even said that all of these successful people with tattoos are idiots. Ok…. Ozzy Osbourne may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but give the man some credit. He’s been rocking longer than most of us have been alive! Sure, he’s a little weird, but he’s not an idiot. Jon Bon Jovi….. Sure he’s not as popular as he used to be, but he can still sing and he’s still making music. and he kinda don’t fit with the rest of the guys on the page. He has 1 tiny tattoo on his arm…… the rest have sleeves or look like they have been doing some serious prison time. Tommy Lee….. Well…. I can’t say too much on him…. he’s still rocking. He’s kinda a man slut, but he’s Tommy Lee, He has earned that right I guess…… He is not bad looking and he has more money than I will ever have, so I’ll leave it at that. John Mayer…. I don’t really like him and he seems kinda whimpy compared to the rest of the list, I guess because I don’t really think of him as a rocker, but he does have a full sleeve tattoo. I’ll tell you, tattoos don’t hurt that bad… at least neither of mine did, but I don’t have a sleeve. That is some major pain tolerance…. My Thumper one went numb about halfway through it. And finally Dave Navarro. It seemed like he was hell bent on dissing Dave. I love Dave. I love rockers! I love the guy liner look. I guess to each their own… but I don’t like people dissing on Dave! I love the tattoos and the peircings. Dave is pretty cool. I have thought he is attractive for a while. Just because he wears eye liner don’t make him gay, or a woman, or a freak for that matter. People need to not be so close minded. Just because someone is a bit different than you and maybe does some things that you yourself would not do does not make them any less intelligent than you or more of a freak. They are just different. Why can’t we accept people and their differences?
I want everyone that reads this to comment….. I wanna know what everyone else thinks about all of this. Why can’t we just let people be who they want to be? It’s time to join the 21st century.
There were many people that have tattoos in the main stream that were left out as well…… Women were left out completely… what about Kat Von D? Angelina Joley? me? lol…. They left out the guys from Good Charolette, Travis Barker, Steve O, Bam , all of the jack ass boys……, Eminem, most other rappers…… There’s so many people in the main stream spotlight that got left off this list, I can’t even name them all.
Ok, I’ll get off my soapbox now…. Please comment or send me private messages. I’d love to hear everybody’s opinions on this…… I was royally pissed off when I read it. Now that I have vented, I’m a little better.

Life’s dealing me some pretty random cards lately….

hollythumper — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 05:01:33 +0000

Before you even start reading, I’ll warn you, I’m pretty contemplative. When that happens I usually get on a soap box or drift randomly through what I’m saying and it tends to be kinda lengthy.I just wanted to warn everybody before they start reading this.
First, I just feel kinda weird lately. I think I have finally found true happiness and I can truly say that I am blessed. My family is supportive and full of love, they help me out when I need it, they encourage me to try new things and support me when I ask. They want the best for me and I can truly say that they love me and I love them. My friends are wonderful, the few true freinds that I have. I have some wonderful acquaintances as well, but my friends….. the few… that have been there for me and with me since day 1 and who are still there, just to talk to and vent to…. Matt gets an honorable mention here too, because how many guys would come, lift heavy furniture for their ex girlfriend when she’s trying to get out of a bad relationship? There’s not many guys who even still give a damn what any of their ex’s are doing. Matt still talks to me and there are no hard feeling at all between us… at least I can say that I have no hard feelings towards him. I guess it helps that he and Kevin are such good friends, but I know that I can always call Matt if I need something and if he can, he will help me…. You don’t know how much that truly means to me. Jessica, well, she’s done so much to help me that I can’t even begin to thank her. She has given me a place to stay when I had very few places to go. She has picked me up across town, once even at the sheriff’s office. She has seen me through 2 pretty rough relationships, even though she has expressed her disapproval of the situation, she didn’t turn her back on me when I didn’t take her advice, instead, she let me make my mistakes and then was right there to help me pick up the pieces and try to put my life back together. The best friend that I have right now though is Kevin…. I know that he truly loves me….. He came moved all of my furniture out of my upstairs apartment pretty much by himself for 2 days (Matt helped him with the heavy stuff). When I called him, he got there as fast as he could. He has given me a place to live and accepted me and the 2 cats that came with me. My stuff is starting to overcrowd his room, and he don’t say too much about it. Sure, we are a normal couple, who have our squabbles, but we have over came a lot worse than a few rough words towards each other. I truely love him and I can not and I do not want to picture my life without him. I know that he loves me…. I can’t question that anymore. He has proven his love for me. I want to marry him and one day have kids. I really don’t know where I’d be without him in my life. I am finally getting my life back together and I finally feel like I am where I need to be.
Today has been a little emotional for me. It was my last day at radio shack at the mall in somerset. A manager that had been with the company for a long time was coming back and ended up taking my job. She starts back tomorrow. I have no hard feelings towards radio shack, the returning manager, or JR, my manager who had to let me go. There simply was no other choice. It wasn’t personal. When God closes one door he opens another. I just have to find that other door that opened. Hopefully I will. I will be recieving unemployment for a bit until I do find it. It’s ok though. I was needing a more permanent job anyway. I will miss everyone that I worked with greatly though. I had a lot of fun working there. I liked all of my co workers. I was the only girl, that got a little weird at times, but I can fit in like one of the guys pretty well. I wish everyone the best. I just hope that I will hear from everybody from time to time.
On a happier note, I feel that I am kinda at this crossroad in my life, where I have to choose a direction. What if I choose wrong? Will I end up back here at square one? Or will I end up in some other spot in worse shape than I am already in? I am in debt…. I’m just hoping that I can get out of this debt…. I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.
As most everybody knows I was adopted. I have entered my information on some registries because on one website that I went to there were birth mothers begging adoptee to register so that they could send them medical information and other important things. From time to time in my life I have contemplated doing a search for my birth parents. I do need medical records…. I am a cancer survivor already, I’d like to know what I might have to look out for in the future. I want to have kids, fairly soon, so I’d like to know what they might have to look out for. I have had a great life and I love my adoptive family very much. I don’t know what I’d do if I found my birth family. I would like to talk to them and like I said get medical history, find out where I come from, what my heritage is you know things like that, but I’m not sure that I would really want that much of a relationship with them…. That’s something else that I have been thinking about lately.
I found (my ex) Paris’s myspace page earlier…. Some mutual friends of our came in to radio shack tonight and told me that he had his own tattoo business once again. I did a search and sure enough… there he was…. I am happy for him that he has gotten back on his feet. I hated that things between us ended the way that they did, but I felt like I had no choice. I wish him nothing but success. I hope that he gets all that he wants in life and is happy. I can’t harbour feelings of hate or contempt for him, since at one point I was happy with him. I just hope he has learned something from all of this and makes better choices in the future. I just don’t want to be with him anymore. I still care that he is ok and all. I am glad to see that he is at least semi on his feet. The only reason that I did the search was to find out where his shop is, so that I can steer clear of it and hopefully avoid any weird or bad situations. It was right next to the mall, which kinda suprises me that we didn’t have a run in before now. Just incase he reads this, I know he knows that I have a myspace account….. I really do wish him the best.
On still yet another note… My car is still broke. I have been driving Kevin’s truck. I don’t generally mind driving the truck, but it’s big and all over the road, and very scary on wet roads. I will be glad to get my car back. Even if it is beat to hell. It is still my car….. Well, I’ll stop blabbing for now. Keep me updated… send comments and messages my way…..

The Itsy Bitsy Spider

hollythumper — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 04:50:23 +0000

Ok… So I know how girly this sounds and trust me… I am not proud of it! I was sitting here in my boyfriends room, surfing the internet, minding my own business and a spider decided that it wanted to crawl around on my thigh. I am very arachnophobic! I hate spiders! I proceeded to do a dance, scream, dance some more, yell cry, and laugh all at the same time. In the meantime, my boyfriend was finding this all pretty humorous. I run into the bedroom and dive onto the bed crying and laughing still. My boyfriend did not even kill the stupid spider, so it’s still lurking around here somewhere to attack me again. Does anyone else have this problem? I have very weird phobias, such as needles, clowns, and spiders. I don’t know… I just get tired of being made fun of for it. I can’t help it. Any advice?

Me

hollythumper — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 03:32:36 +0000

May 14, 2007

Me…. Being bored!

Category: Romance and Relationships

This was my very first blog post ever. I think I did pretty damn good! I was in an insightful mood I think. I still believe all of this and then some. You do have to work at happiness and love, but you do have to go after what you want. I feel like in order to do that though, you must first sit down and figure out what it is that you truely want. I have found what I truely want in love, now I need to figure that out for life.

The reason for reposting this blog is that I am deleting my old blogs, but there are some that I just wanted to repost for those of you who have not read them to read. Some of them are so good that I can’t believe that I actually wrote them. Let me know what you all think about them I like comments!!!!! ..

rough time lately

hollythumper — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 05:36:14 +0000

I’m having a rough time lately. I guess I just feel depressed or down because as some of you know, I miscarried a baby in march. My due date was october 8th, which is coming up pretty soon. I am just having a hard time with it. I am trying to just keep busy and ignore that date, but i’m not so sure that I can. I have little reminders, emails that come in each week congratulating me on my little bundle of joy, offering free diapers and baby product coupons…. what joy? I wanted to be a parent. I have wanted children since I was in high school. I chose social work as my major because of my love of children and my desire to be the voice for children since they dont have a voice of their own in most situations…. I just hope that I can make it through this week without a complete break down. I guess it’s my stubborn nature, but I try not to let anyone see me get too upset. I might come home and completely loose it, which is ok… I just don’t like to be vulnerable. I pride myself on being strong emotionally, but I’m not so sure that I’m gonna make it through this week being strong. My friends all understand and are trying to help keep my mind from going there. I beat myself up enough back in march. I understand that its healthier to just let it out, but I dont do that well… I feel for anybody who has had the misfortune to have a miscarriage.

Happy Anniversary

hollythumper — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 05:15:54 +0000

May 4, 2007

Today is mine and Kevin’s 3 year anniversary. He claims it’s sometime in November, but 3 years ago today Kevin, me and Carri went driving around because we were bored. Carri needed to go home early, so we dropped her off and Kevin and I stayed out until after 4 am. We went over to the Blue Herron Overlooks parking lot and just sat and talked for a while. That is when I told him how I feel about him and we ended up in a relationship. Although at first, we were just dating and Kevin wasn’t claiming me, that changed. I claim this as our anniversary, because it was the beginning of it all. I am happier than I have been in a long time. I am happier in this relationship than I have been in most of mine, with a few exceptions. I am just so happy that someone as wonderful as Kevin has came into my life. Don’t get me wrong, If you read my blogs often…. You all know that we have our problems, we have fights, we have differences of opinion, and we have all of the other struggles that normal couples have, but we always overcome them and work things out. Isn’t that what relationships are all about….. How well you overcome the obstacles that get in the way? I am very lucky to have Kevin in my life and I love him more each day. Just sitting here writing this has made me realize this more and more. I love him so much. Kevin is my life.
On another note, I see all of these people blogging about how they have lost weight and how they are on a diet. My best friend has lost 42 pounds and looks great. I am so happy that she has decided to get healthy and make a positive change in her life, but at the same time, I don’t see why everyone just says it and then only looses like 10 pounds and stops. I am glad that I have never had a weight problem. I have a naturally high metabolism, thank god! If I didn’t I would probably weight like 500 pounds or something. I eat fairly healthy, but the bad things that I eat outweight the good and healthy things. Plus I don’t exercise like I should to burn the extra calories that I take in. Carri has really applied herself in her struggle to get healthy and it has paid off greatly, but she didn’t just loose a pants size and give up, she didn’t just loose 10 pounds and give up, no, she kept going and is still going after loosing 42 pounds. She is pushing herself more to loose what she wants to loose and what she needs to loose to be at her healthy weight. What she has done takes an amount of discipline that not many people possess, nor practice….. Congrats Carri!!!! Keep up the good work.
I felt like I needed to add that last part in, but I think it may have been better put into another blog, but oh well, It’s here now and it’s staying.

My first blog ever!

hollythumper — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 04:37:55 +0000

May 14, 2007

I am sorry if you have subscribed to my blog and are reading my relentless ranting. But I have realized that you can not wait for happiness to find you, you have to put forth the effort and seek happiness out. I thought, once upon a time, that I was happy. I realized a few years down the line, that I was happy with the illusion that I had created in my head. I have had my share of great relationships and thought that I was in love a few times, only to realize now, that Then I was in love with the illusion of love, but I have finally found true love and true happiness. I am not a person who tries to see the downside of any situation, rather a person who is very skeptical about happiness and the good in any situation. I believe that if you want something done, you have to do it yourself now, happiness and love included in that. Now that I have relieved my bordom, I will leave you with the thought that I have everynight…… If you die tonight….. have you done all that you can to show the people that you love how you truely feel.?. Yes, I am aware that I sound like a country song, but it’s a good point. This was my very first blog post ever. I think I did pretty damn good! I was in an insightful mood I think. I still believe all of this and then some. You do have to work at happiness and love, but you do have to go after what you want. I feel like in order to do that though, you must first sit down and figure out what it is that you truely want. I have found what I truely want in love, now I need to figure that out for life. The reason for reposting this blog is that I am deleting my old blogs, but there are some that I just wanted to repost for those of you who have not read them to read. Some of them are so good that I can’t believe that I actually wrote them. Let me know what you all think about them I like comments!!!!! ..

R. I. P. Kippers!

hollythumper — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 01:03:15 +0000

Apr 13, 2007

R.I.P. Kippers!

Current mood: sad

Well today is a very sad day for me. My cat Kippers that I have had for 10 years now, died. We at first thought that he got hit by a car, but now we are not so sure. We think he may have died of natural causes. Either way, my wonderful pet is now dead. I loved him so much and he was one of the most easy going cats that you will ever meet. I miss him so much. He was like a member of our family. My dad burried him on our farm along with our other animals that have died. I had another cat that I had also had for 10 years that died on a friday the 13th. Her name was Susan. I miss her too. She wasn’t quite as easy going, but she was still a good cat. I miss my babies…… They were actually like my children. I am just having a bad day and need some cheering up.